The Long Awaited News!!! Now I can post more!!!

ok, i know this post may be long, but trust me when i say, its a read you will want to know fully.it took me a while to get this done, & i hope you will enjoy it, and share with others who might be a little curious to see into a world where not many but those involved seem to know. there is far more to this, so if interest takes hold, let me know...

Ok, I admit, it’s been a while. I haven’t posted anything up, because before I did, I wanted to share some big news. After retyping this post so many times, I thought to hell with all the editing. To hell with all the damn BS. With all the nice stuff….it won’t work for me….at all. so, I decided to just spill it. After much procrastinating and many sleepless nights, here it is: I had moved from a previous placement to the one I am currently at.

Why is this such a big deal? Well, those who know my history will understand, & those who know me personally as well have already dealt with this news. You see, dear readers, I am something many would scoff at, and many would feel sorry for. I, sadly, am a foster child. Now, you may be wondering “wait, she’s 20 and in foster care?” to you, I say yes, I am 20 years of age and am also currently a child of the system. No, I don’t like it. Yes, it is possible to be past 18 and still be in the system. It all depends on your case. I signed back in so that I could get help with college. I know to most that may seem stupid, but to all those who think I should have toughed it out, I say go to hell. I had actually made a smart decision, and it has benefited me to some point. So screw your attitude. For you all to truly understand, know that I have been in the system for all my life. Since I was 6-7 years old. I have been in the system a while, and this move is big for a reason.

You see, for most of my life, when moving from one place to another, it was either a foster home or a program. I had been to many foster homes, & have lived at many programs. I know quite a lot. At any rate, before I delve deeper into this current move situation, you must understand why it is such a big deal.

In foster homes, the whole purpose is for a child to have some form of normality. To live in a more “safe” environment than their own home. That’s true for some in the system, but not overall. Because, as I mentioned before, it all depends on your case. I am not so sure what the beginning process is, but I know the journey. Now, you’re probably wondering why being in foster homes, a home with a different family, might be a big issue in terms of socializing and such. Well, I’m not sure if it was just me, or it constantly happens, but in my case, all my foster homes limited my social interactions. I was also banned from TV & radio for a lot of my life. Then, when I went into a program, things were even worse.

When you live in a program, there are always some things that stay the same, though each program is structured differently. One thing that is consistent is a system they use to control the clients behaviors (or residents or kids, depending). One such thing is a level system. Depending on the program, sometimes a higher level meant you got privileges, others it means you’re not allowed to do anything. Some places have something else that serves a similar purpose. There is one that is considered a “color palette”, in which varying colors mark what you are able to do or not do. As an example (it’s currently the only one I can remember) if you were on the purple palette, you could use the homes computer, or cook with a staff member present, and go out shopping for food or clothes. Other than that, you were in either the living room or your own room. Not the dining room, or the activity room, or anywhere else. I was either on that palette, the brown palette, or the rose palette, since the red palette was for a particular type of client. Even though I didn’t spend too long at that program, I did spend enough time there to learn that programs way of taking care of the clients. More on programs and such at a later date. If anyone actually wants to know, that is.

At any rate, I told you all this in order to explain the big deal of my move, and to share with you all my own personal feelings on said home. But that last part will be at a later date. Now, I know a lot of that was harsh, rude and so many other things, but I had to let all that out up front. Why, you ask? Well, because if I didn’t, you wouldn’t understand the next part of this post. See, as this post should still be about, I moved from one program to another.

You see, my old program I couldn’t stay at. The reason being, as far as I understand, was because of the ever popular age limit. In many programs, they cannot have clients past a certain age. With a few exceptions, you usually stayed there for the time needed and then left. I was actually there PAST the age limit, but because I was going to school, & actively doing well, they didn’t complain much about my stay there. But, I had to move, & though the move wasn’t that great, & my now home is a little bit of hell (more on the new home at a later time). But, I know that things will look up. Why? Well, keep a lookout for a post explaining this in more detail…

(my new home, day/night shots)